Macey had changed my life in more ways than she could have ever imagined. Two years ago I received a Facebook message from a girl who lives in Michigan. She told me I was her sister and that we had the same birth father. I couldn’t believe it. She told me she had always known she had a sister three years older than her, but I had never even known she existed. She had searched her whole life for me but didn’t know anything about me other than my name…thank goodness for Facebook right?
She told me she was 18 and she had a 1-and a-half-year old daughter named Aubrie, who ironically has my name (Bri) in hers. She told me Brian had left her (Our Dad) when she was a year old and she didn’t have a relationship with him either. This news to me was more than just a Jerry Springer sound bite; it confirmed my place in the world for me. At that moment it felt like everything I have ever worried about with my Father, was justified. She had been alone for 17 years of her life, and I had been alone for 20. We had been living almost parallel lives, thousands of miles away, thinking and worrying about the same thoughts, about the same exact person.
After reading this life changing paragraph, my whole body seemed to stop working. I froze, and re-read the message probably 100 times and called my Mother. She confirmed it. Yes, after Brian left me he found another woman to mess up…Macey’s Mom.
Growing up was hard and I had so many unanswered questions. I felt alone and that no one I knew could even begin to understand, but then she found me, and everything changed.
I have never met Macey, but we do talk daily. She crosses my mind more than thirty times a day. I think of her when something good happens, and even when something bad happens. I never knew the feeling of belonging could happen so quickly, but I do know one thing. I don’t just want to meet Macey, but I want to change her life the way she did for me. I want to hold my Niece, and I want to talk for hours to the sister I never thought I had. I want to protect her, and teach her, and get mad at her for wearing my clothes. I want to love her and show her how much she means to me, and I promise I will.
The hole in my heart that I thought was getting bigger every year has disappeared. I don’t feel as if anything is missing, or that it was my fault my father chose the lifestyle he did. Most importantly though, I don’t feel the need to meet him or even talk to him anymore, I have what I need.
I’m not upset at the way things happened, I am proud of the person I have become from my experiences. I am a statistic, and a product of a dead beat dad, but luckily I survived the odds. I have always wondered what would come of my relationship with my biological dad, and if he would ever turn himself around, but I realize now that he won’t.
But, I am finally okay with it. I have a Sister, and a Niece that I never had before, and it’s our lives not his, that are worth living for.
I Love You Sister!